Taken from a VERY old email that ended up getting saved ,probably my freshmen year of college. I've updated it a bit.  Enjoy!

I am a college student. I live in a 4 x 4 ft cinder blocked prison with no windows.  my roommate has sex, with me in the room....

I am a college student. I have gained 15 pounds or more since August, most of that is....BudLight, my best friend.

I am a college student. I got more ass in the first two weeks of school then in my entire life combined, now I get less than ever. I do the "walk of shame" leaving his/hers room at 7:00am in the same clothes I was in the night before.

I am a college student. I drink Beast from a keg and Busch Light from a can. I will walk in the cold, dark and snow for beer….but refuse to go to class in the same weather.

I am a college student.  If I am female, I wear a Northface jacket, iPod and flip-flops - and have been molested by more then one frat guy on the dance floor!

I am a college student. I have a 2.1 GPA. I have Mono, but don't sleep except during my classes.

I am a college student. I have forgot what privacy is. I never make my 8:00 am class and have hooked up with half the people on my facebook page.

I am a college student. I drink more vodka than water, my savior is the toilet.  I black out for extended periods of time several nights a week.

I am a college student. My friends tell me the next day about the striptease did at the party the night before. I think cigarettes, coffee, cheetos, and Ramen Noodles as being a complete meal.

I am a college student.  I forgot about the love-of-my-life-boyfriend/girlfriend at home, as soon as I stepped foot on campus. I go to bed at 2am and get up at 11 am everyday. I promise myself everyday that tomorrow I will get up and go to that class that I somehow keep sleeping through.

I am a college student!  My computer is used for two purposes - facebook and iTunes. I have gotten in a fight with at least one person in my dorm and we hate each other now.

I am a college student...I think nothing of going to bed at 3:30am on Wacky Wednesday, Thirsty Thursday, Fucked up Friday, and getting up at 8:00am, still drunk, and go to class. 

I am a COLLEGE STUDENT... Hear me roar!!!

The real lessons I've learned in life are not the pretty "friendship forever" ones. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I've learned that waiting till the last minute to study for finals is STUPID. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just real assholes.  I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more fucked up than you think.  I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place. I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do. I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends because in the long run dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves. I've learned that no matter how parents try to protect their children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important annoying ones just never go away. I've learned to say, "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!" in 6 languages.