StrikerZZZ's Xanga

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Sun, 10 Sep 2006 16:37:10 GMT

Taken from a VERY old email that ended up getting saved ,probably my freshmen year of college. I've updated it a bit. Enjoy!

I am a college student. I live in a 4 x 4 ft cinder blocked prison with no windows. my roommate has sex, with me in the room....

I am a college student. I have gained 15 pounds or more since August, most of that is....BudLight, my best friend.

I am a college student. I got more ass in the first two weeks of school then in my entire life combined, now I get less than ever. I do the "walk of shame" leaving his/hers room at 7:00am in the same clothes I was in the night before.

I am a college student. I drink Beast from a keg and Busch Light from a can. I will walk in the cold, dark and snow for beer….but refuse to go to class in the same weather.

I am a college student. If I am female, I wear a Northface jacket, iPod and flip-flops - and have been molested by more then one frat guy on the dance floor!

I am a college student. I have a 2.1 GPA. I have Mono, but don't sleep except during my classes.

I am a college student. I have forgot what privacy is. I never make my 8:00 am class and have hooked up with half the people on my facebook page.

I am a college student. I drink more vodka than water, my savior is the toilet. I black out for extended periods of time several nights a week.

I am a college student. My friends tell me the next day about the striptease did at the party the night before. I think cigarettes, coffee, cheetos, and Ramen Noodles as being a complete meal.

I am a college student. I forgot about the love-of-my-life-boyfriend/girlfriend at home, as soon as I stepped foot on campus. I go to bed at 2am and get up at 11 am everyday. I promise myself everyday that tomorrow I will get up and go to that class that I somehow keep sleeping through.

I am a college student! My computer is used for two purposes - facebook and iTunes. I have gotten in a fight with at least one person in my dorm and we hate each other now.

I am a college student...I think nothing of going to bed at 3:30am on Wacky Wednesday, Thirsty Thursday, Fucked up Friday, and getting up at 8:00am, still drunk, and go to class.

I am a COLLEGE STUDENT... Hear me roar!!!

The real lessons I've learned in life are not the pretty "friendship forever" ones. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I've learned that waiting till the last minute to study for finals is STUPID. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just real assholes. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more fucked up than you think. I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place. I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do. I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends because in the long run dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves. I've learned that no matter how parents try to protect their children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important annoying ones just never go away. I've learned to say, "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!" in 6 languages.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 01:14:05 GMT

Hello you adorable little bastards! It’s me again. I finally bribed the Supreme Court into letting me blog again with a drum of Metamucil and a Pez dispenser full of Viagra. Old people are so easy to please.

Today at dinner, my friend Shawn and I got to talking about the government (da’ Man) and the various urban legends that shroud it.

Example: Did the Government have anything to do with the assassination of JFK?
Answer: I don’t fucking care.
Seriously, if the White House admitted to having “Pretty-boy Kennedy” killed, I would be more concerned about the inevitable shitty movie that Hollywood will release to recreate the event. Kennedy was dead before I was born, they probably had a good reason to terminate him like that (or not, it still doesn’t matter), and it’s obvious that the results of a rich white boy catching lead with his cortex didn’t affect me that much even if he was the president.

Now that is just an example of one of the topics we covered. Another issue addressed was that of “alien existence”. Does the government know? Probably not. This still does not change the fact that if aliens in fact DO exist it’s probably at their request that they remain a secret. Face it, if these organisms can travel across light years of space to reach our planet the odds of them seeing VH1 Celebreality are fairly good, and I can hardly blame them for changing their collective hive-minds and turning back around to catch the end of Desperate Housewives. (Teri Hatcher will you marry me?)

The only question I have is, if these aliens DO decide to join our fucked up little mud ball society, will it adversely impact me more than most humans already do?

Will they, for example, be able to drive better than Asians? The Answer: Yes, if they can navigate across an infinite void I’m pretty sure they can understand a Yield sign at 35 mph.

Another question I have is, do these beings have enough foresight and common courtesy that we can allow them to go to school with our kids? I severely doubt that they will be taking death-rays and paring knives to our inner-city middle schools and vaporizing their classmates and teachers while selling drugs to each other unlike SOME minorities in this country. So I say. “Welcome to public education my interstellar friends”.

One more thing to decide upon before we open our hearts and minds to these bug eyed monsters is how tolerant are they of other cultures? Will they, just for example, start a guerilla war which will last for centuries? Bombing and burning the houses and businesses of other people just because they share some minor difference in which fictional deity they worship or which group of them get to live in a corner of some shit-hole litter box country? Odds are, if aliens are like that they would have eventually killed themselves off entirely. (Here’s hoping you filthy fucking Jawas)

Finally, a very important question, will we allow these E.Ts citizenship and all the privileges that come with it? If they can organize their administration well enough with out the use existence of committees, sub-committees and focus groups I welcome the input. Though maybe they just shoved all of their elected officials into air-locks and ejected into the icy void of space to the sound of cheering. (Just an idea for NASA to contemplate) I see no problem with a hydrocephalic, gray skinned Senator anyway. If Strom Thurmond can do it, anything else would be a double standard.

There ya go. If you read this far I applaud the effort and wish my life was as boring as yours. If you were offended by any of my generalizations or stereotypes I used, I would just like to point out that I made fun of everyone. So fuck off. No one got preferential treatment and the important minorities were mentioned. All of you inferior beings are equal in my scornful eyes so I cold care less if you disagree. Opinions are like assholes, everyone’s got one and they all stink.

So I’m a tired little penguin now and am off to melt my brain with some TV or a similar supplement. I hope this reminds you of what a sensitive, sweet guy I am and the problems that are associated with being the only boy and middle child.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 16:42:24 GMT

I did this because I am hungover and Carlie had it in her xanga and now i regret it...
I'd also like to state right now that when going through all of the other personality types, not ONE of them says Consider: "The Last Man on Earth". I will say right now that this is pretty much accurate up to the minute...I'll try it later when I'm at home and see how it comes out. I pretty much can only go up from here

FACT: The apocalypse has come. All are dead. You never should've asked her out.

The Last Man on Earth
Random Brutal Sex Dreamer (RBSDm)

     Shit, rejected again. You are The Last Man on Earth.

     Sorry, but most women would rather see the human species wither to an end--and therefore deny the most fundamental instinct that living creatures have--than sleep with you.

      We've learned the following: you don't think things through. You're haphazard. You're dangerous. You're somewhat inexperienced. It's totally obvious that you're a horny bugger, as well. Everybody knows that and steers clear.

      To top things off, when you do find your way into a relationship, you tend to be a dick somewhere down the line and fuck it all up.

Your exact opposite:
The Gentleman

Deliberate Gentle Love Master

There's a small, but negligible, chance we're wrong. In any case, your friends find your shit hilarious. There's nothing cooler than a dude reducing himself to human rubble.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Sonnet

CONSIDER: Half-Cocked, The Nymph

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: MyNature

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 03:53:46 GMT

Top 11 Geek Pick-Up Lines

11.	I entered the probability equation into my TI-89 Titanium Graphing calculator and it predicted you would go out with me, see! (hold up calculator)
10.	What's a nice girl like you doing on an unsecured webcam like this?
9.	Can I have a large coffee with sugar and your phone number, please?
8.	Do you prefer the static or expanding universe theory more? Because, since I first saw you, I'm expanding.
7.	That Princess Leia slave girl outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
6.	You make me want to be an honest man, and register all my shareware.
5.	Yes, that is a real light saber replica in my pocket, but I'm still happy to see you.
4.	You're so beautiful, I'd take my Steve Austin action figure out of its original packaging for you.
3.	Do you want to come back to my place, and we can prank call George Lucas?
2.	I don't mean to disturb you, but Heisenberg's Uncertainly Principle said I already did that by observing you.
1.	Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven, because F=ma and your acceleration after falling that far would be incredible.

I put this up here because, it's just too bloody good!

Thank Zifty for directing me to it. I am going to use each and every one by monday!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 01:04:46 GMT

Hehe.... 2 guns, can ride horses, and is rich. The only down side, lips like a baboons ass.
It is slightly depressing that I'm almost the "One" since it IS the lonelist number. But being James Bond in third is Freakinsweet!

You scored as Lara Croft. A thrill-seeking, slightly unscrupulous, tough-as-nails archaeologist, Lara Croft travels the world in search of ancient relics perhaps better left hidden. She packs two Colt .45s and has no fear of jumping off buildings, exploring creepy tombs, or taking on evil meglomaniacs bent on world domination.

Lara Croft

75%

Neo, the "One"

67%

James Bond, Agent 007

63%

The Terminator

58%

Captain Jack Sparrow

54%

El Zorro

54%

Batman, the Dark Knight

54%

Indiana Jones

50%

The Amazing Spider-Man

46%

Maximus

42%

William Wallace

25%

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

Monday, November 14, 2005

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 14:39:02 GMT

Quotes from this weekend:

Janalyn: I'm not going to dance, you're just going to stare at my hips.
Adam: Well it's better than staring at your tits...
Janalyn: True.

Adam: Ok so what does that mechanism do again.
Mike: We need to drink.

Paul: We should do double car bombs!
Adam: That's a horrible idea!
Mike: Will they fit?

Mike: DO NOT ENCOURAGE ADAM! HE SHOULD NOT BE REWARDED FOR DOING THAT!

Adam: You shouldn't punish Mike for forgetting his membership card. He has a disability that prevents him from remembering it. And I don't think you would want Nittany Lion Hobbies to be remembered for discriminating against people with disabilities. Alcoholism is a disease right?

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 06:38:48 GMT

People like me should either recieve a Oscar (thank you mike) or else be banished to the lowest level of hell...

This weekend will prove to be either a huge turning point or a huge growing point in my life.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 04:53:31 GMT

So I have apparently been, "tagged" now so I must write five interesting/odd things about myself. And here I thought being me was good enough...

#1. I read for more hours a day than I watch TV

#2. I am horrible at fencing because sometimes when I am poked with the weapon, it tickles me and I can't stay in en' guard position

#3. If I ever am so unlucky as to have children I am going to name my son Oedipus

#4. I own nearly 4 lbs or Silly-Putty

#5. My potted plant is infested with ants and I'm scared they are going to kill it

so there ya go people, I threw in the excessive smileage at no extra cost too

~ Raoul the pool boy

Friday, October 14, 2005

Fri, 14 Oct 2005 16:31:42 GMT

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Extreme
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Extreme

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

You Are A: Monkey!

Monkeys are intelligent and agile, well-adapted for jungle life as they swing happily from tree to tree. As a monkey, you are a social animal who prefers a warm climate, eats a wide range of food and is quick to learn new things. A monkey's tiny primate features are irresistable, as is his gregarious personality!

You were almost a: Kitten or a Bear Cub
You are least like a: Bunny or a Lamb Discover What Cute Animal You Are!

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 14:31:44 GMT

Quote of the night goes to Allen who said while we were walking home at 3 AM, "You're so wise Adam, you're like a mini-Buddha."